cluttered thoughts

INK AND VAIN ASPIRATION

Come forth to my embrace you elusive wisdom

Let the ink of my pen mark another thing

Depart not from my miserable bones and flesh

You fame of the velvet curtain that waits amidst.

My chary hand scribbles the first words

Of an embarking ship to a voyage of no return.

The waves are gold and fine dusts are the bubbles

Of this navigator’s fate to the fervid abyss.

I wander my eyes to these aghast lines

And feel the beating of my blood in horror.

The honest clock must break the monotony

Of this night of my solitude and grief.

Let no one forbid my soaring with the eagles

And allow me to dream before I move on to my grave.

For my soul is beaten finer than dust

Borne to the wind to perish.

My ink has given me extreme thirst to pant like the deer;

To stab the green bushes and stand before the heights.

So let me then recognize my mighty prints into laurels

Or burn, instead, with me my will power to ashes.

I display and pour forth unfathomed speeches

To champion the footprints of my long-forgotten mentors

Who saw the world like a fragile sphere of heavens twisted.

Revising its fictions and authenticating the Apocalypse.

But if you just perceive the chariots and the horsemen

Yet not my arms which bent a bow of bronze.

Let then, instead, this victory be spared to the fools

Than for me to seek vengeance from a shallow heart.

_*_

NAKAW

Buksan mo ang isip kong tulog,

Nakahilata sa kasinungalingan

At hayaang kumawala hanggang

Sa dako pa roon.

Pilitin mong mamulat ako

Sa katotohanang

ang lahat ng ito

ay pawang hiram lamang.

At ang pagniniig nating ito

Sa loob ng magara mong

Revo

Ay karaniwang libog lamang

At talulot lang ng pangungulila

Sa iniirog

At hindi na mauulit pang muli.

_*_

Huling Gabi Ng Pagniniig Sa Lilimampu’t-pitong Araw Na Pag-irog

Buhatin mo ako ng may pagmamahal

At mahigpit an ikanlong

Sa iyong mga bisig.

Bayaan mong damhin ko ang init

Ng iyong balat

At ang mga masilakbo mong titig

Na tumatagos sa aking kaibuturan.

Himayin mo ng iyong masiil na mga halik

Ang bawat hibla ng aking pagkatao.

Magniig tayo

Hanggang maabot natin ang rurok

Sa marahan

At mapangahas na bawat pag-ulos.

Magpaulayaw tayo

Sa piling ng mga hamog

At sa balintataw ng buwang naninilip

At nagkukumubli sa ulap

Na para bagang nahihiya sa kanyang

Nasaksihan.

Hugutin mo ng walang kimi

Ang aking nalalabing limos na dangal

At pikit-mata kong susundan

ang anino ng iyong

pag-alis

patungo sa kanyang piling.

Pilitin mong huwag nang lumingon

Upang hindi mo masaksihan

Ang pagpatak ng mga luhang

Lalamunin lang ng gusot na panyong

Tangi kong alaala sa iyo.

_*_

HAIKU ATTEMPTS

The cold rain kissed the dry earth

Softening its cheeks

Like a homage to its own

_*_

The vain waves touched the sad shore

Painted it bright white

Drifting back to nothingness.

_*_