the morning after

No, I did not wake up at the wrong side of the bed to be pounding on the computer keyboard so early in the morning. I think I had a bad night. So bad that I could not find the most appropriate adjective to describe it.





There had been pretty bad nights before but that of last night was different. I did not feel pain when my longtime partner of three years punched me thrice on my face from a heated argument over being a virtual gallivant. Maybe I was fusing with so much jealousy and anger that I could not feel the pain then.



And because it was a bad night, lingering on the bed would only prolong whatever excruciating pain I was harboring. I often wake up late on Saturdays but my tummy sent synapse to my brain that it needed food already so I had to get up and do some rituals. How could I be hungry so early in the morning? Is it really my tummy or my bruised ego again that is in wanting?





There had been many ‘mornings- after’ complications already in the past couple of months. What makes this one different?



Two buttered-chicken breasts, a slice of mocha cake and a glass of icy cola – cold leftovers from last night’s party for a friend. Cold rubbish from the fridge but I thought that will do for now.





*kjcoud & forgottendaiz at flickr.com

mistakes

"i got dirty, i got stinky but see, i learned!" sabi ng bata sa commercial ng gatas.


sana ganun lang kadali. sana ganun lang kabilis pawiin ang mga mali na nagawa mo kahapon.


kaso hindi.


whether you have asked for forgiveness already from people you have wronged and have forgiven yourself, too, in the process, the mistakes are still there. the damage still remains.



and as you go through the long and winding highways of your life, these mistakes remain. only this time with a new-found label - 'bones in the closet'.



but if you choose to live life the hard way and the hard way that it is, then these mistakes should be nothing more than mere bruises.


as for me,the bruises may have hurt me so badly and may have left some serious marks in my young skin, but hey i am not hiding them. i am not ashamed.


these bruises - both the visible and the unseen - have become my new found badge of honor. a constant reminder that i am a soldier. a fighting soldier, no less.


i will fight life. i will fight it hard.


i will give it its game.


"sorry na ha?" sabi ng isa pang bata sa commercial ng gatas.


kung mabasa mo man ito ngayon. o kung hindi man ay bukas. o kaya'y sa isa pang bukas.


sori na ha.





caught at daybreak photo by:joeljosephopinion